Child Training Tuesdays- Picking your Battles

Good afternoon all! Forgive me for being so late with this post. I've been sick and miserable the last couple of days. As we speak I am sweating out a fever, and hoping that this massive headache of mine will go with it! But, I always enjoy these posts on Tuesday, so here I am.

The last couple of weeks we have been attending a small group bible study on parenting your young children. The study is a video series from Les and Leslie Parrot. There is a book that goes along with it, and the fellowship and trading of ideas has been wonderful. I do not neccessarily agree with everything that the Parrots say, but the overall messages are good.

We have discussed many things during this study, and one of the things that has stuck out to me has been talking about how we can keep a good relationship between us and our children. Last week we talked about discipline, and how to pick our battles. This is always a tough one for me. I often feel like I need to learn when to pick certain battles. We shared with our group how our 3 year old is soo very picky, and when he doesn't get something exactly the way he thinks it should be, he throws a major fit. I'm talking a MAJOR fit. He's very dramatic in his fit throwing. This is something I struggle with, because even though he is my 5th child, I have never really had a child who acts this way. If you give him a blue cup, he wants the red. If you give him a whole sandwich, he wants it cut in half. If you give him a little bit of milk, he needs more. And on and on.... I don't want him to be spoiled, and get what he wants all the time, but dealing with his tantrums gets very tiring. Someone suggested to us, that it would help if we always tell him ahead of time that this is exactly what he is getting, or how much he is getting, and then only if he then throws a fit, is it worth being disciplined, because then he is disobeying. This made some sense to me. So, in other words, make sure everything is spelled out for him ahead of time, and it might help him feel more prepared for things, and less out of control.

So, here is where you all come in. Tell me what your thoughts are on this matter. Do you have a child who acts like this? If so, how do you deal with it? How do you as a parent learn to pick your battles, not just with the little ones, but with your big ones too? I have always felt that you have to learn the difference between childishness and genuine disobedience, but that is sometimes harder then it sounds. Tell me what you think. How do you go about choosing which battles to fight, and dealing with a child who seems to want to fight battles all the time? I'm dying to hear from all of you out there.

At the Well- Selfishness and Self Pity

Ah...selfishness and self-pity, those are topics that I know a lot about. That is what is being discussed At The Well today. In thinking about this topic, I am thinking back to what I wrote about last night, and how God is longing to forgive us for even the grievous of sins (like murder and adultery). If you have missed that post check it out here! I am glad for that, because the sin of selfishness and self pity can often abound in me with my husband and children. How about you? It's easy to say that we love our husbands and our children...of course we do right? But, are we acting out that live, with selflessness, and servitude, or do we gripe, complain, feel irritated, frustrated, and feel sorry for ourselves, because we work so hard, and noone appreciates us? Sigh...I don't know about you, but this is often me.

How often do I feel sorry for myself, because I have to work so hard for them, and I feel like they don't do enough for me? Far too often. I know it's not right, but I find myself going there anyhow. Now, I have a great husband. If nothing else, he stays with me :-). That is saying a lot, in this day and age, when it seems so easy for even Christian men to be found straying from their wives. He is very good with the kids, and has a great heart for the Lord, and yet I still manage to find myself not feeling like doing stuff for him. Shame on me. We wives were made for our husbands, to be their helpers, not the other way around. The only thing that ruins this is when we wives start thinking about our rights and our needs. We can gripe to God all we want, but the bottom line is that he created us to help, and submit to our husbands. This means that if we want to show the proper kind of love to them, then we will help them in everything, and we will submit to their final decisions on things. This is how we can genuinely show love to our husbands. I personally find myself not wanting to help my husband because I've got things that I want to do instead, or not allowing him to have the final say in what I do, because I don't agree with what he said. I am not loving my husband if I do this, no matter how many times I say I do. Love is an action, it is not always a feeling. If we truly love them, we will support them. This means respecting and acting out on what they want us to do. That means keeping their house clean, or having healthy meals on the table, or keeping the children in line, or finding ways to supplement the income, if that is needed. It means finding ways to help him in his daily work, and his spiritual work, so that He has the time to fit in everything that he needs to do. Why? Does he deserve this? It really doesn't matter, it is what we wives are called to do by God.

Now, what about our children...surely we always love our children don't we? Well, I will always tell you that I do, but I would also tell you that my actions do not always show it. Do I show patience and kindness with them? Am I slow to anger, and quick to praise? Do I take the time to listen, or am I always busy when they have something to tell me? Sadly, I often fail in these areas. And here's another thought that really condemns me....am I loving them by loving their daddy in the ways that I should. This is so important, because if we show love to our children, and yet fail to show proper love and respect to our husbands, we are sadly still failing them.

It is so easy to get caught up in ourselves. We mothers have a tendency to tout our own selflessness and self-sacrifice, but if someone were to ask our husband and our children if they know they always know that they are loved by us, by the things that we do for them...what are they going to say? I would be afraid to know!! I fear that I would be ashamed of their answers. I spend far too much time thinking about my own wants and needs, instead of selflessly serving. Yes, I've made sacrifices for my husband and my children, but were they truly selfless? Or has there been a little part of me that just wants to play the martyr and get my pat on the back? Ouch...this self reflection is very painful! I pray that all of you wives and mothers would do what I have done today, and examine yourselves and your actions of love to your family. Do you truly act out of selfless love and sacrifice, or does there always have to be something in it for you? Do you children know you love them because of your actions, or do they doubt your empty words? Do you spend your days fulfilling yourself, or pleasing the Savior in your actions by serving your family? I know that I am in need of repentence and a turning away in my life in this area. How about you? If you feel that you are always struggling with this in your life, leave me a comment or send me an email at rebabler@comcast.net, and I would love to pray for you, because I know how important it is to be right with God in this area, and yet how easy it is to stumble! God's blessings to all of the wives and mamas out there.

Be sure to read more over at the Well. Click on At the Well, up above!

Sunday Meditations- On murder, adultery, sin, and forgiveness!!

Today our pastor was giving his sermon. He has been speaking about breaking up with the world. This has been his topic for the last few weeks. It has been very thought provoking, and insightful. Well, I missed some of his sermon today, due to a sweet, yet cranky Donna Jane in the nursery, whom only mommy could rock to sleep again. But, there was something he said before I was paged to go comfort my baby, that I have been pondering all day, and I wanted to take the time to share it with all of you.

He was talking about hatred, and the Bible's view of it. He talked about Cain and Able, and how Cain had hatred in his heart for his brother Able, which led him to kill his brother. So, he became the first murderer. Now, this brings us to 1 John 2:9-11 The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in darkness until now. The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But the one who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

Ok, so what does all that mean? Well, first you have to understand what it means when it talks about the Light and the darkness. To be in the Light is a reference to walking in the Holy Spirit, or with Jesus. Jesus is the Light (which is why it is capitolized), and this would refer also to being born again, or fully trusting Jesus to save you. Now, darkness is a reference to being without Christ, and being totally in sin. So, what these verses are saying is that if you hate your brother you are in darkness, and if you love your brother you are in the Light. I have known those verses for many years, and have always struggled with them to some extent. Christ tells us that in the eyes of God, hate and murder are one in the same. 1John 3:15 reminds us of this when it says that, "Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in Him." So, it is clear that to harbor any kind of hate in your mind whatsoever, makes you a murderer! It is also clear that no murderer can be walking in the Light or have eternal life? Wow, that pretty much condemns everyone doesn't it? Is there any person who has never had a hateful thought about another human being before? I know I'm guilty!

This is where it gets good....keep reading. This is where forgiveness comes in! If you have trusted in Christ as your savior, and you have the Spirit within you, then you are forgiven. Now, the confusion comes with the verses and their insistence that you cannot have eternal life if you have comitted this murdering offence of having hatred in your heart. But, here is something that I was reminded of today, that gave me a good reminder of God's forgiveness, and how it envelopes our sins. Think of David. NOw, if you are not all that familiar with David and his life, then here is a brief synopsis of the story that I will reference. The most familiar story of David is when he slayed Goliath with his sling, but what happened after that in his life, is a roller coaster of sin and grace and forgiveness. David became king of Israel, and was loved by his people. He developed a rather big head, let's say. Well, one day he was on the roof, and he saw a beautiful woman, who was also on the roof (his roof would have been taller then hers), and he began watching her. Now, of course, we know that he was lusting after her...the Bible is clear that she was very beautiful. So, not only did he lust after her, but he decided that he wanted her for his very own!! Now, Bathsheba was her name, and she was already taken, as was David. But, hey, I'm the king...I'll get what I want....right? So, David did something shocking (shocking because up until this point, it was clear that he was a man of God, a man who loved God). David, sent Bathsheba's husband Uriah off to war...and made it clear that he wanted him to not come back!! Stunning! He then took Bathsheba as his own wife! Wow, talk about murder and hatred (not to mention lust and greed, and adultery, all of which are clearly sins!!). So, Uriah is now dead, and Bathsheba belongs to David. But, David had a trusted advisor, a prophet of the Lord, who came to him, and reminded him that what he had done was very wrong in the eyes of the Lord!! David's eyes were opened to his sin, and he deeply repented of this sin. The consequence of this sin was the loss of a son that they had just had together. This was devastating to David, but he recognized that he needed to be punished, and he called out to God in repentance. And then David picked up and moved on with his life, trying to walk in the right way! Now, David would make some other mistakes, but every time, he cried out in repentence. God tells us in his word years after David's death, that David was a man after God's own Heart.

Think of it....an adulterer was a man after God's own heart. Adultery is something else that God is clear about in His word, that if you even lust after a woman in your heart, you are walking in darkness as an adulterer. David did not just stop at lusting, he became a full fledged adulterer. So, how did he end up becoming a man after God's own heart......repentance. Acknowledging his sin, accepting his consequences, the destruction of his son, and family. But, moving on from it, in repentance, and vowing to do what is right!

This adultery also caused him to become a murderer (a slippery slope is sin indeed), and yet still...he's a man after God's own heart! How?? Again, repentance, and a turning from his sin!!!

Do you realize what this means for us?? This means dear ones, that we can be adulterers, or murderers, or liars, or drunkards, or any other sin that keeps us in darkness, but we can still leave this world as a man or woman after God's own heart!!! Wow! What a thought! All we need to do, is repent from these sins, and to turn from them, and God is eager (yes, eager) to forgive!! If you have been an adulterer, or even lusted after someone in your heart, God wants to forgive! If you have been a murderer, or even had a hateful thought about someone, God wants to forgive! If you have any sin, none is too great, He wants to forgive!! And you know what else...after He forgives, He wants to bless you!! Can you imagine, after all that David did against God, that God would still bless him...but he did. After his repentence, Bathsheba became pregnant once again. This time with another bouncing baby boy....you may be familiar with him, his name was Solomon. Solomon, would later become the King, and be known is History as the wisest man that lived, and he was also the builder of the temple! God was not only eager to bless, but also to forgive!!

Praise God for his mercy, for his wanting to forgive us of our sins, and give us eternal life with him! No sin is too large for him, no amount of sin is too many for him. If we only acknowledge our sin to him and turn from it, than He is DYING to forgive us, and Bless us. In fact, He did die to forgive us, because when he sent Jesus to the Earth to die on the cross for us, this wiped away all our sin for eternity...and all it takes is acceptance to obtain it!!

If you have any questions about this, I would love to discuss it with you. Email me at rebabler@comcast.net, or leave a comment if you like. If you can't tell, I was excited to share this, so if you do read it, feel free to comment, if it blessed you or left you with questions!

Saturday Steps of Faith- God's love and Presence!

Saturday Steps of Faith is when Lisa reminds us to think about God's promises in our lives! Please go to Passionate Pursuit to see more! You will be blessed.

I was thinking this morning about a truth that has become so evident in my life in recent times. God promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5

What does this mean exactly? Does it really mean never? When you think about this, it is astounding. Never is a word that we might throw around a lot. We say things like "I will never do that again?", and my kids are famous for saying...."I'll NEVER get to......" What does it mean when we say never? It usually means for awhile. When we say never, it is likely not never, but for a time. But, when God says never, He means for all eternity, with no end. Think of that....God will not leave us or forsake us for ALL eternity. This is truly never!

If we beleive in Him, He won't leave us for anything EVER! Romans 8:38 tells us that "Neither death, nor life, neither angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor things to come, nor any other created thing, will be able to seperate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I think that about covers anything that could possibly take God's love away from us. That is two different times that God assures us that He will always be there, and He will always love us. What a wonderful promise He gives us that we can cling to in difficult times, not only in our personal lives, but with things going on in the world as a whole. God sees and knows all, and He will follow His believers into the depths, and still love us, no matter what the world, or our government throws at us! Praise God for his love, and that He will never leave us, or forsake us!!

Favorite Family Pics of the Week!

This is Elias at the Tea Party that we went to today. He loved the flags

Janie, being "worn" by daddy at Fernwood!

My boys getting ready for the 4th festivities

I love this pic of Audrey and Lillian.

Once again, I couldn't pick just one picture this week. These are all from this weekend! Enjoy, and have a great 4th!

Loving Your Husband Friday- Sharing my Values

Good morning on this Friday morning! It's time to focus on our husbands today, and why we love them. This morning, I was thinking of some of the basic reasons why I love my hubby. I love the way that Rob and I believe in the same things.

Of course, there are times when we disagree on this or that, but overall, for the big stuff, we are always on the same page. We have always wanted the same things in life. To love and serve God, to raise a large brood of children, to homeschool, to live as simple a life as possible. We generally laugh about the same things (although, not always :-)), and we get upset about the same things. We share our faith, our political ideas, and our ideas of what a Christian family should look like. Even though we are different people in personality, he is definitely a Kindred Spirit. This may sound a little silly, but it sure does make life more enjoyable to be married to someone who shares the important views of life with me! Makes me feel very blessed that God introduced us.

Share today what you love about your husband. Join Shannon for more Loving Your Husbands Friday.

Happy BIrthday America....and many more??

Saturday is America’s birthday, and I have question marks, because I wonder if the America that has existed for 232 years, will have many more celebrations. I’m worried about America. You see, the United States of America is our child. Our ancestors gave birth to it, and it belongs to us. In the same way that I worry about my children, I worry about America. I often find myself worrying about a path that my children might be going down, and it’s time to sit them down and discuss with them how this path will bring bad things into their lives. In the same way, I fear that America is going down some very wrong paths. I fear that America is on it’s way to losing it’s relevency. We are gradually losing the spirit, the faith, and the power that we once displayed in the world. I loved the way that Ronald Reagan described America, as the city on the hill. Wow, what an inspiring picture. An America founded on biblical principles, setting an example to the world of Philippians 4:8. In the past we have been the example to the world of what is true, what is noble, what is just, what is lovely, what is of good report, and of what is praiseworthy. Now, does this mean that we have been perfect. Of course not, America, like any child born with original sin, has had it’s share of sins. But, we have always come through the fire, and come back a stronger country for it. Over all America has looked to do what’s right, and be a light in the darkness of the world. When another country is in trouble, who is the first one to their aid….America. When a people is struggling under oppression, who comes to the rescue with the prize of freedom from tyranny…America. We are, after all, the land of the free of the brave.

There really is no place in the world that compares to the United States of America, our lovely city on the hill. But, is our country continuing down the same path that will keep it strong, and free, and brave! It does not appear that way to me. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. There are many of us out there, that think it is time for discipline. It’s time to get in the face of our “child” and tell them that they are taking the wrong road, and convince them to turn back…before there are consequences! When our child is in trouble, we mama’s fight to keep them in line. We will do anything to keep that child from having to suffer the consequences of their incorrect actions. As Americans, it’s time to do what we can to keep our country on the right path. Sadly I am aware that sometimes you can do all that you can, and the wrong choices are still made. God gave us our freedom and, like our children, we will often use our freedoms in ways that God never intended.

You may be asking, how is our countrie's free will taking us down the wrong path? The first step came during these last elections. Much of America chose to worship a man, instead of the God that gave us this country to begin with. Much of America voted for the men and women who made them all kinds of promises to better their lives, even though they don’t have the power to do so. We made our bed, and we are now lying in it. Many of us did not vote for these people, but what did we actively do to prevent them from gaining the power they now hold? In the same way we need to be proactive parents, and not reactive parents, we need to guide, correct, and purposely shape our country. If they choose to use their free will for wrong, well, at least we can say we tried, we did our part!

Now, we are seeing the consequences. There are many things on the table now, that make me fear that we are going to lose our “child” altogether. There is the Freedom of Choice Act, the ratification of the UN’s Rights of a Child, Cap and Trade, Universal Healthcare, the movement to keep citizens from being able to sell homes if they are not in regulation with someones idea of Eco-friendliness. There are bailouts of incredible proportions, there are broken promises and there is a general attitude that America should no longer be a powerhouse, but should silently fade into the “international community”. What about our city on a hill? What about our national security? What about our pride, and bravery? Where has it gone? It is slowly being chipped away. The unborn and the elderly in America are no longer important, the authority of parents is no longer acceptable. Many in this country who have died for our freedoms, now have a different eulogy, one that says they shouldn’t have bothered because who needs freedom? Soldiers will no longer die for their country, they will only die for their government to have the right to oppress their people. Other countries around the world will no longer look at us as the powerhouse, that they don’t want to mess with, they will look at us as just another one in the “global community”, that can be threatened and pushed around. When has America ever allowed itself to be pushed around?? The answer to that is…. NEVER! Now, our president is going around asking the very people who would behead us all, to forgive us, and be our friends…why? Because we are no longer a Christian nation!!! My Jesus died for the sins of all men, men who then laid down there lives for my freedom and the freedom of my country, and now we must be ashamed of not only our freedom but the Savior himself! You don’t speak for us, Barack Obama. You don’t speak for those of us who love freedom, and who love God. You don’t really speak for America. My “child”, my America, was founded because of the thirst for freedom, and the thirst to worship the God that created us all! My America does not make excuses for itself, and it’s core beliefs! My America values life…ALL life. My America believes in the rights of its citizens to make their own decisions for their families and their children. My America is One Nation under God! My America is being taken away from me, in ways I hoped it never would. It is being forcibly turned down the wrong paths. We need to pray dear Christians, we need to be involved, and active “parents”. Let’s not just let them take our child away from us without having something to say about it. I want to still be singing Happy Birthday to the same America that I have always known many years down the road. I want to still have to crane my neck to see our beautiful city on a hill, when I am old and gray. If my boys choose to serve their country and they lose their precious lives, I want to be able to say to everyone, my boys died for your freedom, not the governments!

I will now step off of my soapbox, and get back to my regular life, but I will keep my armor on. I will need it in the coming years. I will fight to keep my “child”. Although, I will accept what God allows to happen in our country with faith, because God is always in control, I will not stand by and do nothing. If all is said and done, and the America I once knew no longer exists, then at least I can say, I tried. Perhaps we are no longer a “Christian nation”, but I am still a Christian, and I will fight on the Lord’s side. The Lord who wants us to value life and individual freedoms!

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear America……Happy Birthday to you….and many more…