Last Sunday our pastor preached on keeping purity in our marriage. It was a wonderful reminder for me of all the ways that I need to work to keep myself pure for my husband! He reminded us women that we need to keep our emotions for our husbands and not give them away to other men. Let's face it ladies, although many of us do not struggle with the visual lust, we get trapped when it comes to emotions. If you allow yourself to get emotionally close to another man...then you are giving yourself away to him. I believe that this can often even include fictional characters (such as tv characters, or characters in a novel). Anytime that we find ourselves wishing that our man was like THAT man, we have crossed the line. " But....he treats me so much better, or....can't I just fantasize a little that that fictional character is real and he loves me??" If we are thinking these questions in our minds at any time...then we are putting our marriage in danger!
Some ways that I have worked over the years to avoid these pitfalls in my marriage, and kept myself from temptation are these:
1) I stopped watching soap operas years ago. Not only are they immoral on so many levels, but they also are notorious for causing us women to put our real life men up to impossible standards!
2) If any other tv show or movie causes me to emotionally lust after the main male character, then I have purged it from my viewing list, and my daughters!
3) I purposefully choose not to be alone with a man that is not a relative, or someone who is basically like a relative to me. I know in my heart the men that I can "safely" be alone with, and which ones I cannot. Most apply to this rule!
4) I do not call/email/facebook with any man that I know might be a stumbling block to my emotions. If I feel that they are "safe", and yet I find myself having improper thoughts about them.....I let them go! Better to hurt some feelings and be pure than to compromise what belongs only to you and your husband!
These are some of the ways that I have chosen to safeguard myself, and one of the biggest ways I know of, is what brings us together every Friday, is to work on staying focused on loving our husbands daily. If we stay focused on their needs, and what we love about them...we are less likely to stumble.
And I want to share too, that one thing I love about my husband is that he also has a list of "safeguards" for himself to keep our marriage pure, and keep outsiders from causing him to stumble. Let's remember to pray for our hubbys in this area as well. It matters to my guy, and I'm very grateful for him, and his example to our four boys!
Join Shannon for more Loving Your Husband Fridays!